I have to admit it does NOT feel like a Friday to me today but hey I will take it!  So this week has been very much a Blah week.  I don’t know why but I just have been SO tired and fatigue this week.  Not to mention I had started to gain again.

AF finally came after being a month late last week and of course my weight stalled, I thought like normal it would go down but nope it went back up to what I was.  SO the interesting observation stands when I have NO AF I can lose weight.

I have to figure out how to do this with still getting AF.  I think all my feelings that this is a factor is right on point.  So what do to from here I am not sure but I have docs appointment coming up so we shall see.

All in all I think it’s really accountability.  Learning to over come the hurdles.  Between money, my body, work, lifestyle you name it.

One of the other things I am struggling with is the gym.  I still haven’t been.  I told myself that If I didn’t go this month I was to cancel my membership.  I have  held on it with hopes I would go but it’s just not something I find well in my schedule at all and I think I need a new plan.

The gym served it’s purpose before but I think I am seeking something else right now that’s not at my gym.  I just haven’t figured out what yet.  But I do know there is no sense of wasting money every month even if it is only 20 bucks a month.  I need to remind myself that ending it doesn’t mean I can’t rejoin if I ever went back.

It doesn’t mean I have failed, or that I can’t do any type of work out.  I think that’s my biggest factor is failure.  I think cancelling makes me feel like a failure even though I really have no desire to go back.  I do have a desire to work out but just not there.  I don’t know it’s complicated and hard to explain.

So that’s what I am dealing with this week.  I am so looking forward to the weekend and hopefully getting some much-needed sleep and figuring out how to really do this whole process day-to-day.  So Happy Friday to you guys hope it’s a good one.

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