Tags

, , , , ,

Around this time last year I was pretty upset.  Things in my life (especially weight wise) was not going the way I expected.  I started off the year heavier than the year before despite all my efforts.  And this infuriated me to no end.

What’s funny is the other day I was reading old posts.  I wanted a comparison on where I am vs before.  The thing is.  While this year I am actually starting out heavier than even last year (despite my 10lb loss).  I am not upset at all.  Not even the least bit infuriated!

I thought about this greatly last night.  Wondering in my mind, “what has change”? And all I can come up with is its me and my perspective.  This past year, I didn’t focus hard-core on my weight.  I really started the steps on just working on myself and getting things in my life in order to be where I want to be.

While, I have had my moments about how I felt about my weight.  My life didn’t center around it.  I didn’t work out this year at all I believe and I am not upset about that (except for the wasted money on my gym membership!  Bet they love me!).  But all in all I really focused on myself this year.

I think that my feelings on my weight is proof of that.  It’s not that I don’t care that I am heavier.  I care a lot actually.  But more so, it’s not that I gained but that I am making progress.  I know gaining doesn’t look like progress to some and in the world of weight loss it’s not.

But in my mind it’s HUGE.  I am not beating myself up for past “failures”. I am taking each day as a new day and not dwelling on my past.  I can’t change it, so why stress myself on how I coulda, shoulda, woulda? It’s just not healthy.  For the longest time I felt like failure in this journey.

I have not reached no one single goal weight wise that I wanted to hit.  I have not become what I expected to be.  I hoped to be this blogger who inspired all these people.  But I realized that it’s okay that I didn’t do any of those things (well I know I have inspired some).  Because, this is all a journey.

It’s MY journey.  No one else…. My journey was about more than weight loss.  It was to show the world and mostly myself that there is more to me than just my weight!  One day I will actually believe that a 100% but for now I am happy that today I believe it more than I have ever before!

So I ask you, what obstacles did you overcome this year?  What obstacles are you looking to over come next year?

Advertisements