Another year is almost gone and a new year is about to begin.  It’s funny how when a new year starts it’s almost like many feel all brand new.  As if in a day everything in your past has been swipped clean.  It’s like a do over… I wish this was really true but none the less I think for many it gives people a beginning of hope.

For me, it’s just another day.  This past year has been a trying year for me.  Nothing went as planned, not my weight, my wedding OR career.  But that’s life right?  You may have your own plans but it seems life knows better and well, life’s plan always trumps your own!

But ya know what? I can’t complain.  It hasn’t been the worst year yet and actually, I feel like the past few years I have come to be more in tune with myself than ever before.  While, I am very far from my goals, I have had to realize that it all takes lots and lots of baby steps and patience.

I am excited about having doctors in my corner.  This weekend I weighed myself and to my shock I have lost 10lbs this month and KEPT it off.  In the past 3 years I have not once had that happen!  I feel like maybe, my doctor and I have the right system starting here?

I feel much more alert these days which is a nice change (thank you prozac).  While, I have yet to stand foot in my gym (and I have a tough decision this month regarding that membership)  I know no matter what I do that the biggest part of this journey has been learning to love myself and accepting myself for who I am.

I know many don’t really understand what they call “fat acceptance” but I see it much like the whole “Love the sinner not the sin” type thing. I don’t have to like ever aspect of myself and no one does either.  BUT it’s important to know that I am HUMAN no matter what and that’s really what you are accepting.  That even though you may not be or look like what anyone says we should that we still are beautiful creatures.

So I end this year happy.  Excited for more years, more lessons and more acceptance… The ability to let go and live life!  To not to live when everything is just right but even when everything feels wrong.  Nothing will make me happy, not losing weight, surgery, or even money (although, it sure helps!) I have to find that happiness in myself!  And I am glad to say I think I am on the right path to getting there!

Happy (Early) New Year my friends!  I hope 2015 is a great one for you!  Here is to another  year!

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