As much as I would like it to… As much as I would wish it to…. I know deep down the only person who can make this weight disappear is myself.
I don’t have any magic answers. I don’t even know what all is causing my health issues in general. What I do know is, that by me not trying I will NEVER reach my goals. EVER!
Sure, it’s annoying to bust your ass and feel like you are getting no where. I mean who really wants to bust their ass to NOT succeed? It’s like opening a store and saying I will be fine if I fail tomorrow and close my doors! Of course you wouldn’t be! BUT it doesn’t mean you also just give up trying or stop before you even opened your doors!
I know many understood my feelings on wanting to give up on this journey. I won’t even call it giving up because I never did. I will call it a break! Yes, a break! Not like a Ross and Rachel break. But more like a I need to just do a reset. Re-evaluate this and honestly, get to the point where I WANTED it again.
I know many times I come here saying this time is different and each time really does feel that way. So yeah, this time does feel different but I don’t know for sure if it will be however, right now I don’t think that’s even important.
What is different this time is I am NOT motivated.
I know you are thinking to yourself. What? How do you do this with NO motivation? Well, it’s
easy hard. It’s hard because I am not depending on this fire inside of me to push through. Nope, not this time. I am depending on the fact that I just don’t want to be fat anymore.
So, I am just going to make myself do this. I am going to make myself make better choices. I am going to make myself become active again. I am going to make myself care. Make myself go back to the doctors. AND make myself believe it’s possible. Even if apart of me fears it’s not.
I mean really what do I really have to lose? Other than a pound or two :)?
So I figured to do this, I need you! I need to have people around me who understand this journey. I NEED cheerleaders. I need people to cheer in my corner so I can help hold myself accountable. And I did my best in the past when I was actively blogging, and tracking my calories (yes, I still despise doing it but hey it is what it is). And I am going to give this an honest go!
And that’s it 🙂 Just like that, I’m back!