As much as I would like it to… As much as I would wish it to…. I know deep down the only person who can make this weight disappear is myself.

I don’t have any magic answers.  I don’t even know what all is causing my health issues in general.  What I do know is, that by me not trying I will NEVER reach my goals.  EVER!

Sure, it’s annoying to bust your ass and feel like you are getting no where.  I mean who really wants to bust their ass to NOT succeed?  It’s like opening a store and saying I will be fine if I fail tomorrow and close my doors!  Of course you wouldn’t be!  BUT it doesn’t mean you also just give up trying or stop before you even opened your doors!

I know many understood my feelings on wanting to give up on this journey.  I won’t even call it giving up because I never did.  I will call it a break!  Yes, a break! Not like a Ross and Rachel break.  But more like a I need to just do a reset.  Re-evaluate this and honestly, get to the point where I WANTED it again.

I know many times I come here saying this time is different and each time really does feel that way.  So yeah, this time does feel different but I don’t know for sure if it will be however, right now I don’t think that’s even important.

What is different this time is I am NOT motivated.

I know you are thinking to yourself.  What?  How do you do this with NO motivation?  Well, it’s easy hard.  It’s hard because I am not depending on this fire inside of me to push through.  Nope, not this time.  I am depending on the fact that I just don’t want to be fat anymore.

So, I am just going to make myself do this.  I am going to make myself make better choices.  I am going to make myself become active again.  I am going to make myself care.  Make myself go back to the doctors. AND make myself believe it’s possible.  Even if apart of me fears it’s not.

I mean really what do I really have to lose?  Other than a pound or two :)?

So I figured to do this, I need you!  I need to have people around me who understand this journey.  I NEED cheerleaders.  I need people to cheer in my corner so I can help hold myself accountable.  And I did my best in the past when I was actively blogging, and tracking my calories (yes, I still despise doing it but hey it is what it is).  And I am going to give this an honest go!

And that’s it 🙂 Just like that, I’m back!

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