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I decided this morning I am going to have to lay off all my energy to weight loss.  What I will continue to focus on is learning how to eat better and continuing my work outs.  I will have to just focus on the health aspect of this all right now not the weight loss until I get medical help with this all.

I have tried many avenues and non of this makes sense.  Weeks like this week proves that to me.  I got annoyed on Monday ate bad well it didn’t stop there, I continued making bad choices and what did I do?  I lost weight!

Makes ZERO sense then again the gain didn’t make much sense either.  I figure I can’t focus on any type of numbers.  I just have to focus on making good choices and going with the flow of things for now.  Which I won’t lie this is hard to do because I want results.  I want weight loss!

But I have been at this now for a while, trying many things that have been asked of me and yet I stay weight wise in the same place.  I know as we age things get harder but after reading back just a couple of years ago to my efforts of just cutting things from my diet and losing weight I know something is just not right here.

I have known it since the beginning.  I thinking maybe I’m wrong!  Maybe my eating is off, maybe I”m not exercising enough, getting enough sleep, I could be stressed.  I think of all the things they tell you and that you hear and yet here I am still in the same place.

I do believe there is an answer here.  I also believe that I will find it.  I just hope once we do I will finally be able to get out of this body I feel so trapped in.

I will still be here because I need you guys.  I just don’t want things right now to be about the numbers.  I don’t want to freak out over every calorie or the numbers on the scale.  I am going to keep the focus on good choices and leave it at that.

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