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So last month I was trying to see how it would go by doing my normal monthly routine w/out a screw it attitude even though I always gain during PMS.  While I never said screw it but didn’t exactly eat well.

Saturday we had D’s birthday dinner at an Italian restaurant which of course isn’t exactly calorie friendly lol and the rest of the weekend wasn’t great either.  AF is officially gone but I am only 1lb down from what I started last month.

At this point I have to just say well, that’s 1lb down and move on.  Not much I can do now.  I really wish that every week was like the week after AF on how I feel.  The week after AF I feel great and normal.

The rest of the 3 weeks of the month not so much!

It really does bite.  I am trying to not make excuses but even my thoughts change.  What sucks more is what doctors normally give you to help with this I can’t take due to my blood disorder.

Hopefully my appointment next month will shine some answers on everything as well.  I know that things change as we get older.  But just a year prior to my health issues when I put effort I was able to lose weight like any normal person would.

Now I still do despite my bad days more than I have ever have in my life and yet I remain the biggest I have ever been.  I know this is more than age.  I’m not THAT old.  I know with everything inside to my core something isn’t right.

BUT I also know that to prove that I have to get better at being good far more often than I am now.  One way or another I have to gain success right?