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I don’t know what’s going on this week but I feel extremely weak!  I have sucked in bootcamp and while I am still pushing myself I just feel like I suck!  On top of that the trainer everyone seems to like seems he might of left the gym.

He came in today to have a little chit chat about his other job (which I knew he had another job) but all the sudden on his partner is teaching which sucks because now the morale in the class feels off and down.

I don’t know how it is one person can make such a difference but they do.  Of course D doesn’t fully get it but it has effected me this week.  I just am not feeling class this week which bites because I love bootcamp even when I don’t love it. lol

Weight has been slowly going down.  Monday AF should arrive and I *should* go back down to what I was a few weeks ago.  We shall see if I lose more the following week.  If so my theory just might work out.  Only time will tell.

So, while I was in class I had an emotional moment.  It kind of reminded me of when you are at church and you just start crying and you don’t really know why exactly?

Today in class everything about my body bothered me.  My shirt wasn’t long enough, my stomach kept showing, my hair was blah, everything was dissatisfaction.

There are mirrors all in the room and for the most part I refuse to look at them.  I can’t stand watching myself work out.  I really had a I hate my body feeling today.  It was a bit overwhelming and I got a bit teary eyed while doing abs today.

I am just so tired of this journey.  Not in the way where I want to give up just tired.

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