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I have been kind of quiet about this because I didn’t want to worry for nothing.  On Thursday our bootcamp instructor told us that they are about to rev up the bootcamp class.

We are talking things like tire flipping and working outside.  It’s going to get much more intense than it currently is now.  Which, I won’t lie some days this class is pretty intense for me.

They said that each one of us will have to have an assessment done that will determine if we can stay in the class and proceed.  This worries me.  I am one of the heaviest girl in the class.  Infact I think I AM the heaviest regular in the class.

I feel like this makes me a liability.  They are talking like we have to sign waiver forms and all that jazz.

I’m worried they will find me too unfit to do the class and I won’t be able to do it anymore.  What upsets me the most is this class is WHY I go to the gym now.  I can’t stand the idea of the machines anymore.

I like what I do.  I love that my hair is drenched in sweat after each class.  That I can see muscles I haven’t seen before and how I can really feel what I worked out on the very next day.

I like the challenge of the class and being able to beat previous days I was there.

Even though the class is hard and some days I think “man, I should have stayed home” by the end of the class I am ALWAYS glad I went.  Never, not once have I went and thought “eh” like I had before working out on my own.

I love having others working with me and I love working out with D.

It would be so unfair if they took this away from me and didn’t offer a class then for those who may not be ready for such an intense class.  Especially, since their site says nothing about you having to be approved to do any of the classes.

D says I am worrying for nothing.  He feels I have proven myself as a fighter in the class.  How I come in almost every class and I work.  How I do more than some of the other girls there and yet I am probably twice their size.

He said the fact I am twice their size and doing it shows my dedication because he too knows how hard it is to do even the most simple exercises at about 300lbs.  I just get scared to hear some of you won’t make it.

I feel like it’s directed right at me.  The fact is there are some exercises I probably shouldn’t be doing that could cause me to risk more injuries but that can be said about anyone of any size in m opinion.  Injuries happen to the healthiest of people.

So why exclude me?  If anything why not just find a modification if possible?  Why does it have to be all or nothing?  Anyways.  Today we will go and schedule our assessment and go from there.

In the mean time please pray that I will get to continue on with this.  I really do enjoy it and would like to keep being able to benefit from the class.