Last week I posted a letter to my bootcamp instructors Dear Mr.Bootcamp Instructor as many of you probably have read.
The post was how I felt as if I am not noticed in the class and typically over looked.
I wrote about how hard the class is for me and how hard it is to show up to this class day in and day out. How I really needed them to SEE ME! Because I doubt myself all.the.time in this class.
I am always wondering am I doing things right? Am I pushing myself hard enough? Is my form correct?
Because of this I could feel myself pulling back.
There are two instructors in my class we will name them A. Happy Face and B. Sour Face. Now there are pro’s and con’s to both gentlemen.
Happy Face is well, I’ll just say it he is good looking guy. Look, it’s obviously you should see the girls go ga-ga. Okay. Yeah, so he’s cute. (What? D knows!) lol Happy Face is funny, social, and is good at keeping the room light. He expects you to work though.
Sour Face he is cute but you can tell he has certain girls he kind leans towards. Now, the pro to Sour Face is he makes you work. He is the first to yell insane numbers of jumping jacks when Happy Face would probably have us do less.
So the two really do work well together. But I will say the class moves so much better when Happy Face is around. It seems positive environments help make people work harder. Or at least I have noticed in this class.
The thing is Happy Face knows my name, and once in a while I get a good job Misty. Sour Face I am sure doesn’t know my name at all… Which is fine, I don’t expect him too really. But my want was for them both to treat me like the other girls that are in the class.
And last night, I finally got just that.
Last nights class was HARD we did some new exercises that I won’t lie, kicked my butt… The one that dropped my jaw was the one where we had to do what I call a walking push up this youtube video I found is exactly it!
OMG do you know how hard these are???? Now imagine being like oh 300lbs and doing one. I can barely do a push up. First I want to say a shout out to the girl next to me who kept cheering me on telling me how good I was doing and to keep going.
But it was that moment when I did several IN A ROW and I fell with exhaustion to my knee’s to breathe when I saw Happy Face tell me what a good job I did, to take a breather, and to take my time. That moment helped me push through the class.
Yes, there were still stations I didn’t do so well, and I will work on those. But in that moment. THAT precise moment I was seen. My hard work shined through. After class Mr. Happy Face came up to me and congratulated me. Telling me he saw me and how good I did.
THAT I needed. Even if Mr. Sour Face didn’t see which is fine I like Mr. Happy Face better anyways, Plus Mr. Sour Face has his place. We all have our moment’s I assume. But today I was seen and THAT felt great! Thank you for seeing me and letting me know that even when I feel like I am failing you show me that I am succeeding.