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As a big girl it’s sometimes hard to come to your class.  Knowing each time more times than not I am the biggest girl there.   Many people will feel that because I am big that one should not praise me for *I* am why I am big.  While, they may not know my story this is not about praising me for being big but noticing me for trying my best.

Yes, I will stop a lot.  It hurts to run.  Sometimes, I want to give up. 

I see you at each class helping to push the other girls, cracking jokes, telling them to give you more and then pass by me as if I am not there.  Your partner is no better.  While, you are far more sympathetic at times throwing a “good job” here and there and can at least say my name I can’t say the same for him.

You guys tend to over look me…

Almost like you feel you can’t push me or maybe feel as if I am a fragile flower.  But that’s the thing.  I NEED you to tell me to get up.  I need you to tell me if it hurts and you just can’t do this then try this instead but to keep moving get that heart rate up.  I need you to tell me to go lower to push myself.  I need to you tell me you have faith that I can do it too.

I need you to see me like you do the other girls.  It hurts when you or partner skim over me, when I stop you move on but get on to the girl next to me who also has stopped as if she needs to keep going but it’s okay that I don’t.  I need you to remind me why I am here.  I need to feel that me being there is just as important as them, those girls, who are in the same class with me.

I need you to see me!

Because know, I see you….  You are no different then all the rest.  I know I am not as attractive as they are.   At this size you move past the looks of disgust and right to the looks of invisible.  Suddenly, I disappear as if I am not there.  I know you see me and it’s obvious that you do.  Maybe you are afraid?  Maybe you feel I shouldn’t be in your class?  I don’t know.

But I do know that I am here.  And I NEED you.  Don’t over look me, graze over me, or treat me like a flower.  This is hard for me but I am here.  I work, I get mad, I want to be as good as them so show me why being here is worth it!