As a big girl it’s sometimes hard to come to your class. Knowing each time more times than not I am the biggest girl there. Many people will feel that because I am big that one should not praise me for *I* am why I am big. While, they may not know my story this is not about praising me for being big but noticing me for trying my best.
Yes, I will stop a lot. It hurts to run. Sometimes, I want to give up.
I see you at each class helping to push the other girls, cracking jokes, telling them to give you more and then pass by me as if I am not there. Your partner is no better. While, you are far more sympathetic at times throwing a “good job” here and there and can at least say my name I can’t say the same for him.
You guys tend to over look me…
Almost like you feel you can’t push me or maybe feel as if I am a fragile flower. But that’s the thing. I NEED you to tell me to get up. I need you to tell me if it hurts and you just can’t do this then try this instead but to keep moving get that heart rate up. I need you to tell me to go lower to push myself. I need to you tell me you have faith that I can do it too.
I need you to see me like you do the other girls. It hurts when you or partner skim over me, when I stop you move on but get on to the girl next to me who also has stopped as if she needs to keep going but it’s okay that I don’t. I need you to remind me why I am here. I need to feel that me being there is just as important as them, those girls, who are in the same class with me.
I need you to see me!
Because know, I see you…. You are no different then all the rest. I know I am not as attractive as they are. At this size you move past the looks of disgust and right to the looks of invisible. Suddenly, I disappear as if I am not there. I know you see me and it’s obvious that you do. Maybe you are afraid? Maybe you feel I shouldn’t be in your class? I don’t know.
But I do know that I am here. And I NEED you. Don’t over look me, graze over me, or treat me like a flower. This is hard for me but I am here. I work, I get mad, I want to be as good as them so show me why being here is worth it!