So in the area we live we have what is commonly known as the Big ASS waterbug AKA Cockroach!
A few things you need to know about these bugs are:
1. They are big as hell! Seriously these things can be almost the size of my hand!
2. They freaking FLY!
3. They CHASE you!
4. Again they are big as hell!!!! (I can’t stress this enough!).
So since it rained the other day this tends to cause these bugs to come into my house from outside. I HATE these bugs. While yes, I understand that the bug is what? like maybe 3 inches long? and I’m like I don’t know 64 inches or so… I know the math and I am still running like a little girl when I see them.
Well, last night was no different. It was about midnight and I had just remembered I had clothes still in the wash. Now, if you are anything like me you should take stock in laundry detergent because you are making that company RICH! Because, of the fact that you uh, you forget that the clothes are in the wash and end up washing them like ya know, two… or three times?
So yesterday was no different, I already washed these twice, I wasn’t going to let it be a third! I start loading the dryer and look up to oh! holy mother of god! There it was staring at me. Looking at me deciding hmmmmm, “should I fly in her hair“. I know this, I saw its long ass antennas moving away searching for the best place to land.
I won’t lie in this moment I was like okay do I run? Do I continue? So I pep talk myself. Saying, common! “It’s just a bug“. So I start putting more clothes in the wash, all the while pulling my arm as far as it would go in the wash while still allowing me to see the bug because ya know I don’t like surprises.
Then I thought, that’s right! I have bug spray! Hallelujah calls from the gods! I just got this bug barrier made by Raid that my friend suggested for when these bugs get in her house. Now, I didn’t check if this was one of those ones where you can kill on contact or anything. But it’s bug spray, I mean it has a bug on it for heavens sake!
So I take the sprayer thing off the bottle, assemble (who knew bug spray could be work?). Then I decide to test it out. I mean, you can’t go aiming at a bug and not have your ammo ready right? So I go to spray and this noise sounds. What the… It’s a motor? ha! This thing is a motorized spray. Ya know, I guess in case my hand gets lazy? I dunno but I’ll take it.
So I head back into the laundry area, but first test out the sprayer to see quickly, how far this thing can shoot because 1. I am not getting close to this bug (remember these things FLY). 2. I have clothes in the wash and I would not like to have bug spray all over them causing me to wash them all over again! (Remember your stock in detergent!).
So I shoot. I get this sucker good! Then, I just stand there sorta behind the wall, (I don’t want it to see me of course!). and the damn thing isn’t dying. When they talk about cockroaches surviving bombs, THESE are the roaches they are talking about. You can smoosh the crap out of these bugs and THEY DON’T DIE!
At this point, I am stuck. So I think, maybe I can just quickly finish? I get a few items in the dryer and then all the sudden the damn thing starts charging at me (it wasn’t flying though and that was a good thing) but the sucker was running pretty fast and right in MY direction. I jump probably about 4 feet and there may have been a bit of a skreatch come from me… maybe?
Shit, it’s going for its revenge. I “knows” now I tried to kill it and now it wants to torment me! It hides behind this area that I cannot see. Fuck! Really? I can’t chance getting the rest of the clothes out of the wash because it’s too close to the hidden area. This would be a prime time for it to attack. Damn, screw it, I am leaving the clothes in the wash, and the wet clothes in the dryer and I am getting out of here.
No, wait, okay “common on Misty, you can do this” as I say to myself. Seconds later it staggers out. Oh, good! Yes! Maybe now the spray is working? All I need is for the sucker to fall and I am good! I wait… It staggers… I wait… It staggers some more. And then…. Crawls behind the washer. Smack my head! Really bug???
I cannot see the bug, I don’t *think* it’s dead! But I really do need to get the clothes and go to bed. So I decide okay quickly as possible I will put the clothes in the wash, try to put a new load in the wash and go to bed! Sounds like a good plan to me!
So I start putting the rest of the clothes in the wash, all the while watching my feet. Look I don’t trust this sucker! I get about half way to putting clothes in the wash when the damn thing starts charging at me! Full force ready to go. I jump and scream just a little (not loud enough to wake the house). I hide behind the kids bike.
I could tell it was looking for me. I saw his antenna moving around in all shorts of directions while he climbed over my mountain of clothes. I thought in this moment I need the broom. It has never let me down! I leap (yes, leap! What? 200 and something pound people can leap) into the kitchen grab the broom in record time and go back into the laundry room.
Now, I knew in this time it could of hid itself again and at first I thought it did. And then it appeared. I saw me, I saw him. I took the broom and beat the crap out of it (sorry PETA). Die, dammit DIE! After several swats with the broom (and a few leg twitches from the Roach). He was now on his back (still twitching) but this I found comfort for if it’s still not dead getting back over seems pretty hard for these things so I think I am good to finish.
I hurry up, throw the clothes in the wash, start the washer, then I start the dryer and proceed to bed! Phew… I looked at the clock upon entering the room and realized my even lasted about 30 minutes lol. I am sure it could of been worse…
My dead roach
Anyways, so now that I shared my lovely bug story, as promised yesterday I wanted to post what I ate daily for a while. I woke up later so my chicken salad was kind of my late afternoon snack…. Dinner was good. I did eat a bit of the kids left overs (so hard being a parent!).
For Brunch I had Soup and a lean pocket, Snack chicken salad, and dinner pork chops, brocolli, green beans and some seasoned rice. It was pretty yummy. Tune back this afternoon as I respond to a message from a reader… Don’t miss out on my response to “Shallow Bill”.