So this weekend I found myself in a pretty deep depression mode. This does happen from time to time since I have a past history of depression however, I haven’t been in this mode for a long time honestly. I’m not on any medications for it because the medications I did try years ago didn’t help much and usually I am pretty good at getting myself out of these funks.
The past week was pretty stressful. As I mentioned earlier last week we are having trouble with our van since it broke down. There is a chance we could be without a car. This was even more stressful because it left D without a way to work then add in the stress of not getting to go to the gym and having someone staying with you it just all built up.
I found myself this week really thinking about my relationship with D. Last night it hit me pretty hard of why. See, a friend of D’s was staying with us last week through today to help out. While this was super nice of him (and totally appreciated), I have noticed that D and I fight like pretty much every time we are around the said friend.
This isn’t to say D and I don’t argue with out the friend here of course because we do… But it’s not a lot. So you may wonder what happens when the said friend is here??? Well, first when we do argue he has a habit of getting in the argument and trying to mediate. At first this *seems* to help. But in the long run it’s doesn’t.
The reason why is because he talks about things that are not necessary. Like little comments like for example, how when the friend goes out with D how he sees the “old D” as he phrases it. This then makes it seem as if I have sucked the D out of D lol. The friend also is good at telling me private conversations he has had with D.
Now, some might find this information good they know. However, knowing what your spouse is thinking at times isn’t always a good thing. Imagine everything thing you have told your friends, BEST friends, and now imagine your friend telling your spouse? Do you honestly think this couldn’t cause any problems?
Sometimes somethings should stay with your friends! Reason being maybe you were upset at the time or just frustrated. Another fault is if you only tell your friend about the negative stuff, that’s all they will have to see you as. Another issue was the fact that he was the type that liked to argue back with me (the said friend).
I won’t bore you with all the details but long story short I realized this friend causes us issues. I’m not saying D now can’t be friends with this friend. BUT I have realized D and I need to talk about the said friend and have some boundaries drawn. Including D sticking up and telling said friend when he gets out of line. It’s amazing how you don’t always see how your friends can affect your relationships (even if they don’t mean to) but sometimes they just do.
I started questioning my own relationship from old stuff that really shouldn’t even be brought up, someone who claimed to be helping but honestly was bring the worst out of each of us. The good news is I see this now…. I also see where my mistakes were this past week and well how I just do horribly when someone else is living under my roof (aside from my kids and D lol).
The one other good thing is my annoyance caused me to walk almost 3 miles yesterday in my crappy shoes that gave me blisters but hey, I still walked lol. Normally, it’s hard for me do squat unless at the gym (something about being there just helps) so this was good for me.
So that was my lovely week last week… Good thing it’s a new one… Oh and figures crossed we can get the van fixed today. We have a friend who has been helping out since yesterday so hopefully we will be back on the road by tonight!