The weekend is gone and Monday is now here. Your daily grind restarts with early mornings, possibly coffee, and a commute to work to begin another workday. In my case, it’s more so get up, get the kids ready for school, get some computer fun time, and then it’s time to hop on my job’s server and work. It’s actually quiet nice working from most day!
So last night I posted on my Fan FB page about working out. I have been wanting for a while now to really start working out again. I know, I know, I have been putting this off for many different reasons but mainly because of fear.
What fear you ask? Well, many types of fear, fear of pain lol ya know, the whole “god I want to die because I haven’t worked out in so long pain”! Of course it’s short-lived but my brain is still holding on, fear of being “too heavy” lets face it the bigger you are the harder the most simple exercises can be. It sometimes feels defeating!
Fear of breaking a machine, I know I talked about this before and it’s not likely possible but it scares me! Fear of being looked at or judged, but mostly fear of failure! I FEAR failure on all ends. I fear it on a weight loss level and in life in general! I realized this last night.
My thing was I wanted to get a gym membership. The hours I have discovered I could workout (on the days I work full-time) was either 5am OR after 8pm. The funny thing is I was fine with the 8pm. I am a night person. I like working out at night.
BUT I had this sense of wanting to do everything RIGHT! I knew there were ton of benefits working out early in the morning. I hear all the time of people who get up early and LOVE it. Even though they HATED it at first.
I am like, I can do that. Then mornings like today where I don’t even hear the alarm until almost 6:30 (I am partially deaf so when I sleep I can’t always hear) I am like damn, I struggle getting up at 6am let alone at 5:00am or earlier!
Mind you my alarm is set at 5:30 am EVERY DAY Mon-Friday I haven’t made it once yet lol. It’s like my body is like no way, we are not functioning until *this* hour. Sigh… So I make this post I think deep down it was to be convinced that I should be working out at 5:00 am. (I guess I like to torture myself?).
It seemed to come across as excuses. While, ALL of the suggestions I could do, honestly, I could. I knew some of the suggestions I just didn’t WANT to do because I wasn’t interested in it, OR I already tried it and it wasn’t for me. What I have realize is it’s okay if something isn’t for me.
I belive that the key to working out is finding something you like. Something you can do everyday. I will be honest. I am one of those that I have to like what I do. I am not one of those “oh, the doctor said I need to do this or I will die and I do it”. Sad but true. I, Me, myself,* I* have to WANT it! I have to believe this is the for the best of ME!
Now, that’s not to say I don’t do things I don’t like, I do BUT I do them because there is still a greater reason of want. Like I want to make my kids happy. Or I want to be healthy lol But when it comes working out I am less likely to do so if I don’t like what it is I am doing.
So with that said. I KNOW that I want to workout. I can’t make any more excuses and I need to work with through my fears. I have to overcome my insecurities and just DO IT! Even if it’s not what I ideally WANT. BUT I don’t have to do it all by the book. I am bad at this sometimes.
I feared that if I didn’t do work out mornings some how I would missing out on something. OR if I did night workouts some how I would be screwing things up with myself (lack of sleep and such). But the reality of it is, any movement is good movement. If I find that something doesn’t work out? fine, then I try something else! So that’s the goal today. To do some sort of exercise today!
I ask you, so, What is your goals? What things hold you back? How do you over come YOUR fear?