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272/365: You rockI want to say I love my readers.  Yes, You over there sitting infront of the screen, reading my posts day in and day out! Yes, I am talking to YOU! I was going to post this on Monday but I need to post it now!

You guys are there for me when things are great, you give me tough love when I need it, and you help wipe my tears and pick me up when I am sad!  It’s through you that I am learning SO much about this journey.

I want to say that I stand corrected today.  In my last post I said that I didn’t want people to assume that I didn’t know what I was doing when it comes to weight loss.  I realized through a reader that I actually don’t!

Yes, for the average person I could tell you all the things that should work for you to lose weight and you probably will.  Remember, my SO is doing this with me and has already lost over 50lbs.  I have been there with him rooting him on and helping him through his journey.

While, it’s annoying to see him do well even though we are doing pretty much the same things, I have to realize that this is a NEW journey for me.

Sure, I knew how to lose weight in the past.  I could lose weight then,  all I had to do was put in some effort into it.  In fact, It didn’t take much at all.  I just had to stick to something.  This time however, is different.  I don’t know what is really different for sure that is causing my weight problems BUT I do know that I don’t know what I am doing with this NEW journey.

It’s all trial and error.  I said this before.  I think that my first goal this year really needs to be to accept that this is the NEW journey. The things I need to do is:

  • Discontinue thinking of the past and trying to follow how I lost weight before even though it’s not working for me now
  • Stop comparing myself and my journey to others
  • To be come open-minded and to go into this as if I have never had to struggle to lose weight before and now I am faced with losing weight.

With that said that doesn’t mean I now need to try everything under the sun again to lose weight.  BUT I do know that SOMETHING has GOT to work.  Surely, there is some way to over come this obstacle.  I refuse to accept that this is MY body for the rest of MY life! Nope, not gonna!

So I am just going to work.  Just because what I was doing wasn’t giving me the results I wanted the way I wanted doesn’t mean I needed to stop especially since I was getting SOME results!  Maybe I will surprise myself? Who knows?  I think since the PE I have babied myself and I need to move forward.

I am not going to break, and I am on the treatment that prevents the clots and even if more come well, I am already on treatment.  In the end.  I don’t hold the key of when it’s my time.  However, I will if I don’t do anything and stay unhealthy at an unhealthy weight.  I know SOMETHING out there HAS to work.  I am determined to find it!

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