So the past few weeks have been pretty stressful.  I was swelling again and couldn’t understand why although, I have found that when I drink caffeine the swelling goes down.  My theory is I am peeing more.  One would think that drinking a ton of water would help this too but nope, not at all actually!  And some words of advice stay away from google… ugh, I know this but I constantly use it and then scare the bejesus out of myself!

All I do know is the earlier part of this week I was 306 YIKES um wow haven’t been that since the pregnancy which was depressing enough.  304 yesterday to be 297 today (and nothing wrong with the scale).  This along with the disappearing ankles are signs that I am for sure in fact, yep, I’m swelling.  I knew this but hey for medical purposes doctors like to know.

Of course most doctors don’t give a flip because it’s not pitting.  Let me have you carry around god knows how much fluid in your body and then tell you don’t worry about it since it’s not pitting. I know deep down all of this is because of my size, they believe that my weight is causing the swelling.  How can I convince them that I was smaller and the weight kept coming and coming with out my doing??? ugh, it’s annoying and heart breaking to say the least!

My hematologist IS concerned.  He wanted me to see a cardiologist so the appointment to my surprise was made already and set for December 27th.  The same day as Derricks Follow up after his surgery (he has a mass that is getting removed) so hey we will be at the same hospital why not?  I won’t lie If I said I’m not concerned.  I am.  more concerned that no one is really listening that I need to listen.

It’s a bunch of I don’t knows which suck.  Or a bunch of just eat better, exercise as if I haven’t tried that already.  I know people lie, but I just wish one medical professional that CAN do something would just believe me and find out what the hell is going on.  So for this matter, my weight loss journey is on hold.  I know that this isn’t the case of losing weight because of how I eat.  The past several months has taught me that.  This is something else and well, I have to find out what.  If not I fear I will never lose this fat! ugh.