Well, I did weigh in but we are waiting until we get the new scale to see if that might be the issue for this one has the whole house up a few pounds more than usual.  But it said this morning I was 285 heck I wasn’t even that on my 6 week’s of F it….  D has been complaining too because his was up as well….

Watch, I will get a new scale and it will say 285 LOL oh either if it does then it does.  I was a bit annoyed last night, it’s hard to explain to D and he tends to take it personally but I am so stressed out about this weight stuff to the point I think it depresses me!

I know we are on our way on making it possible where I can get the care I need it’s just the whole gaining in the process that scares me, OR the whole things happening again.

An ambulance passed by the hospital I went to when my c-section busted open and they found that I was also drowning in fluid and all the sudden the tears filled my eyes and I was flashed back to the time of not being able to breathe.  I am really starting to think I need therapy for this.

I don’t morn the c-section I feel it was necessary, it’s the continuous dismay from others and physicians and being put in scary situations all because people wouldn’t listen to me.  It doesn’t give me much confidence in the medical community I will tell you that!

I will say that if infact 285 IS my number then all I can say then it must be stress, because I went 6 weeks and ate what I wanted, HOW I wanted, WHEN I wanted and gained 3lbs which was at AF time because by the very next day I was down again so you miles well say I didn’t gain at all.

And then the month I start trying again I gain 5lbs eating far better than I was 6 weeks ago.  Go figure.  I swear people make losing weight seem so simple and maybe it is for some but good golly it isn’t for me. 😦

I am still planning on the gym just waiting for news on when D’s hours change, If anything it will be good for my body even if I don’t lose.  I am sorry my posts lately have been more downers then uppers.  But I guess like they always say the best things in life are the ones you worked the hardest for!