Not this one, but the challenge I was doing a few months back ended yesterday and today the winner was announced.  It then hit me that I have been on this journey for 26 weeks with a weigh loss of just 18lbs.  I know a loss is a loss so they say. But since that challenge started I lost a total of 3lbs.  Granted I had my F it month in a half, which ironically I didn’t really gain anything until this past week (which I think AF is on her way).

BUT it’s just the process it’s self.  It does feel discouraging sometimes.  I called around today about my options for health insurance.  I found a pre-existing thing through the government I can do and it will cost me 200 a month for.  I am debating on it, I have to apply for coverage with any insurance co and be denied before I can do it, which I am sure with the PE in January I will be.

I hope that this will be the right step toward my health and getting fit.  I am sick of things like I didn’t walk today.  Why you ask?  Well, because where my c-section scar I have a tummy that hangs there (I am sure most mom’s can attest to the mommy tummy) well when you are fat it’s not much different.  Anyways, sometimes the scar itches.

I found myself scratching it in my sleep well also what happens is my skin can’t breathe.  So I ended up with a horrid rash.  I know what do about it, and how to prevent it.  BUT until it heals I have to watch the sweating and such so I don’t make it worse.  Of course all this is because I am big and my skin over laps skin so it can’t breathe.  (I know gross!).

All more the reason why I want it GONE!  I pains D to see my skin do that.  He has been with me through the struggles and he too knows something just isn’t right and seeing my skin do that makes him sad.  I just hope as I lose weight I can find something to do with the skin for surgery will most likely NOT be an option due to the blood disorder/PE’s.

All in all I’m okay, food kind of sucks this week for the fridge is low but I see each week as a new opportunity.  Hopefully friday will still show a loss for I have been more cautious on how I eat and when I do eat more carbs it’s not as often during the day.  So we shall see…. I just need to not let this beat me down and continue on… That and stop comparing myself to others.  Especially when my situation isn’t like most people.  either way I’m here, I’m doing it and will be here for the long haul.

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