First I want to say sorry for my absence as I mentioned before I was without a computer however, we are now back up and running so I thought I would up date you guys.

I believe one of my last posts I spoke of going to the doctor to see if my thyroid levels were still off for I was still having problems losing the weight and had still many of the side effects. I was crushed to learn that it was considered “normal” while I know what one doctor says is normal another could disagree and what my normal is may not be what the “normal” range is.

I then asked for another appointment then to tackle the issue to only be told there are NO appointments for the next 6 months. I won’t lie I cried. I bawled actually. I immediately felt what’s the point? I asked what was I to do and was just told that there are so many others like me who need medical care but there is just too many of us and not enough doctors.

I hate our health care system here, if you don’t have the luxury to have health insurance and a good plan on top of that OR you are well off to self pay you are basically screwed. I got depressed and said screw it. Ate like I felt and just didn’t care… For the past month I didn’t even try. To my surprise I expected some huge gain but actually I have only gained 4lbs.

It’s interesting to me that I can bust my butt and eat great and I am LUCKY to LOSE 1lb and yet I can eat what I want and either NO gain OR maybe gain 1lb? How does that work? I am glad that I am not gaining like crazy which tells me two things, one is my thyroid is working better and two no, I don’t typically eat the way others (as in doctors) thought I did.

However, even though this whole journey was to have documentation to show doctors so they could fix me, I have found that right now in this time I will just have to find some sort of solution to fix me myself.

I don’t have the ability to just go to the doctor and get the help I need so therefore I have play scientist and just figure it out. I won’t lie I am not sure how successful I will be. I have decided since the watching the carb thing was helping w/ the hour of exercising I MUST get back to this. I just have to suck it up that I just cannot eat like other people can.

It’s not to say I can’t have carbs but that I just can’t have as much as other people. For example we found that Derrick can have 150 – 200 grams a day and lose weight fine but above that he can’t. I can’t really lose any weight at all above 100 grams. Does it suck that he can have more of what I can’t? Sure! But it would be no different then say I was allergic to my favorite food. I may love the food but it’s not worth my life.

I know this will be hard, but I want results. I want good health and I want to be able to look at myself and feel proud. I want to like what I see. I don’t expect some hard-core body by all means although, it would be nice. I just want to be comfortable in my own skin.

I will do this with or without doctors!

Now the good news…. I got a job!!!! Derricks job was hiring for some at home data entry position part-time and so on Friday I went on an interview for the position and with in two hours after words I got the word that they wanted me! This is such a blessing for our family. This is just another step closer for me having actual insurance so I can see the proper doctors to care for my issues. Not just even for the weight but everything else.

This makes me incredibly happy! Things will still be tight for a little while longer but not much longer and for that I am very excited!

So that’s my update….. I will be weighing in for now on Friday’s so keep a look out for that as well as what I am eating. I am also going to be trying new foods and blogging about it so keep an eye out on that!