Since my PE (pulmonary embolism) was found I have not worked.   In fact the day I was supposed to get word on a great job opportunity I was admitted in the hospital.  The past few months I have slowly started to feel more and more like myself.  Because I wasn’t working our bills were suffering.

We were going to move but didn’t really have any money for deposits and all that jazz so we ended up having to stay which also meant that we needed a little more income to survive.

So I thought, I can get a job.  The problem is it seems every time I have worked SOMETHING has always happened (usually with my health) and each time it gets worse.  I started first looking for kids to watch again because children are my passion. I love watching little ones.  It brings me joy.  But I wasn’t having much luck finding a family or two.

So then I thought maybe I could find a night job and heck I would probably make more that way anyways.  So last week I had an interview I knew I could do this job with my eye’s closed.  Heck I knew I could probably improve the company.  However, the hours were not exactly fees-able.

The hours were 2-10 during the week and 7-5 on Saturday.   D and I share a car so doing this would mean that he would have to ride a bus which is a two-hour ride to and from work, then I would have to get a sitter to come to the house on the days I work (which was a stress) and I couldn’t find anyone for what I could afford….

I kept having this bad feeling in my gut like it was just not the right fit.  So after talking to a few people I decided to just listen to myself.  immediately I felt like a weight was lift.  The idea of this job was totally stressing me out, so bad I didn’t even know.

I was offered the job this morning and was just sick about it all day I knew we needed the money but couldn’t shake how I felt so I declined the job offer

AND about 30 mins later I got a call from a family in need of care whom I am supposed to meet tomorrow… So fingers crossed…. Anyways, I have a lot to take care of around the house and such and may start watching the kids if all work out this week.  So if so I may not be around much but don’t worry I will still be around and don’t forget to check my facebook page I sometimes make up dates there when I don’t have a way to a computer.

OH and today I have been peeing like all get out, how much wanna bet it was all that water I have been retaining last month?  Dunno but boy I have been to the potty A LOT today with out even drinking much at all actually.