Raise your hand if you have ever been given unsolicited advice? Anyone? Now raise your hand if you have had “professionals” or people of “experience” tell you what is right and wrong for YOU? Anyone else?
What is it with people becoming all-knowing? Okay, so yeah at times I am guilty of this too… I think we all are. We get passionate about something and we forget that sometimes not everyone fits in the tiny little mold we have created. I really have been striving to learn to LISTEN! I am a natural talker so even at the age of 30 I have to tell myself to shut up and LISTEN. I don’t get why we have become accustom to feel we have the answers for everyone? That just because we have done something similar, or because it’s what we feel we know that we can’t ever be wrong?
I don’t claim to know it all…. While on this journey I know that apart of me started to doubt myself! See, I had ONE good doctor who believed there was some kind of issues that was causing my weight to just go nuts. When we found my thyroid was off we thought, bingo that’s it. Then I still wasn’t losing, so she said go low carb, but that was causing a small amount of weight loss, then all the sudden I had this pain in my leg and low and behold a clot! I had never experience clots before. I didn’t know about blood disorders, PE’s (Pulmonary embolism) were some fancy term I would hear on a show like Grey’s anatomy. It wasn’t something “I” would have! Nor for sure something “I” would almost die from!
While, my clotting disorder “managed” is not so threatening its when it’s not managed when it is. Because we didn’t know about it, I was doing things like smoking, and taking birth control pills. These things now increased my likely hood of having a clot. Then I quit smoking, quit bc and got pregnant. I ate well in the pregnancy even managed to not gain much at all in fact I only gained baby and fluid weight. After birth it went down hill again. You can read the full story here if you like.. Birth Story
Since then everything has been a struggle. My thyroid levels went crazy, I got clots in my lungs, my weight started going nuts…. Apart of me REALLY wanted to believe that maybe I just wasn’t eating well… So I cut a ton of things out of my diet, counted calories, started exercising, then exercising more, and cut more things to only lose a little. I felt defeated. I knew that there was more to my weigh gain then JUST food but apart of me just wanted to believe I was WRONG!
As much as I LOVE to be right , this time I didn’t! Changing your diet is easy, I mean it takes commitment and forcing your self to just not do xy and z. BUT it’s doable if you really want to. But things like retaining fluid, and finding that your valves are weak to the point your blood just doesn’t flow the way it should through both your legs, is a bit discouraging. What’s more so discouraging is when people don’t believe you and try to sway you to believe that all YOU know to be true is wrong… As if they have lived in this body for 30 years.
Who is anyone to claim to be an expert of MY body! Experts and Experienced people all the time feel a need to tell others everything they are doing wrong and when the problem isn’t what is what was “normal” then it must not be right? Why? I mean why is it so hard to believe that maybe it’s YOU that is wrong? I will accept my faults. It’s why I have done all I have done. When I was challenged maybe it’s this, I did what I was told and what? It didn’t work! So then what? But all the while I am saying what about this? And I am ignored. Until something horribly goes wrong and THEN you agree? Why does things have to go to the extreme for us to listen?
I am a mom of four children, I have girls and boys, I have been married once, divorced, engaged, in an interracial relationship, had vaginal births, c-sections, bottle fed, breastfed, and so much more. While I may feel I know some things, I may feel experienced in others one things I am learning is I still don’t know. I only know of what I personally have went through and the knowledge that I have gained but it doesn’t mean in that same breath that I am now an expert OR that if someone has a different experience that it’s just not possible the cause was from the same source!
I have learned just as quickly as you think you know something you can be just as quickly proven wrong! I thought birth was simple, I thought because I had three babies I would never need a c-section, I was wrong! I thought that everything was just calories in vs calories out, I was wrong…. I thought that boys were easier, and found that sometimes they can be just as dramatic as girls, lol I thought that having my last baby would ruin everything when in fact she has brought so much good to everything that I just couldn’t imagine. I thought I knew everything I could about infants and I still ask questions 4 kids later…. Just because you THINK you know things don’t put everyone and everything in YOUR box.
Instead next time of trying to prove someone wrong, maybe just Listen to them instead and who knows you might actually learn something…. Things are not always black and white. If we take a moment to step outside of our own bubbles sometimes you find there is just a whole world of things we don’t “really know”.