04 | May | 2012 | I am NOT just a fat girl

I have a weight loss group that I manage and one of the topics that was talked about this morning was accountability.

The topic was “What things we do that helps make us successful in our own weight loss journey?” One of my friends stated how she doesn’t weigh herself much, only when she starts to see results and she prefers pictures over a scale.

I love this about her because she has found what works for her. I find it quiet liberating too. To think of having progress and not thinking about what the scale says is almost foreign to me. Apart of me would love to do that.

But, and there is always a but we are all different. I find myself constantly conflicted on how I should be doing this journey. What’s funny about that is I keep going back to the same thing which tells me deep down I KNOW what I am doing I am just doubting myself. For instance, I was on a low carb forum yesterday and started reading about all the different “plans”. I was thinking should I be on a plan? Which one would be the “right” one? But I like what I am doing?

So then my next thought was if I like it, than why should I think I should change it? No one said that weight loss had to be done “this” way. One thing I am learning on this journey is that we all have different personalities, body shapes, genetic make ups and with all of these things effects what will work for us. Derrick my spouse, he can just eat less and work out for 20 mins and he loses, heck the man lost an lb after working out!!! Go figure I can’t do that. But he can!

I have to stop looking at what is working for everyone else and figure out what is working for ME. For me I have so far found that I must journal my food intake, taking pictures (yes I know I haven’t been logging these in as often lately), weighing daily/weekly, lowering my carb intake, walking, support groups and blogging have been the recipe for me to feel like I could be successful. I am not following any plan from a book, I am just eating, working out and trying to stay mentally sane!

I have to remind myself a lot on this journey I am not like “most” people. I have health issues a lot of my other friends don’t have. I also have not regulated my thyroid meds so for the fact I have even lost 11lbs right now IS actually a HUGE deal because if any one has had a thyroid issue you know how HARD it is to lose weight when your levels are not normal! I also have to remind myself that I have had swelling issues, clot issues and I am on meds.

All these factors will affect my progress. Is it annoying? Yes! Most defiantly. I hate that I can’t be like the normal person who cuts their calories and works out for a little bit everyday and loses weight just fine. Every pound I lose is literally a struggle! I need to keep reminding myself how much I am FIGHTING to lose that pound and WHY! I have to see that I am IN THIS for the long haul! I am going to find the solution and I won’t quit until I do. Because I NEED this. I can’t live my life getting bigger and bigger and waiting for doctors to find out why!

So therefore, I have to be MY advocate and figure it out. I mean it’s what I have had to do for quiet a while now and it’s saved my life twice in the past year since my daughter has been born. I can’t wait for the answers I have to seek them. This all is what makes ME accountable. I have to dissect everything, and I know to some that might seem obsessive and maybe it is but it’s how I find the answers. When I analyze every piece is when I finally see what is the problem and it then can be fixed.

I mean it’s a no brainer there are reasons why I weigh what I do. It’s up to me to find those reasons. It’s up to me to fight for the answers. This is what keeps ME going everyday… So to my fellow bloggers what keeps YOU accountable. What is different about this journey vs any others? What makes this time “different”?