I know it’s only been a few weeks since I have really been actively watching my foods.  I have before in the past counted calories  to get a general idea but this time I am actually counting every thing that goes into my mouth every.single.day!   I have lost 3.4lbs so far and weighed this morning and so far it’s still the same.  I know this number is what they say you should lose, but lets face it I have a ton to lose usually the first few weeks you lose quiet a bit in just water alone!  I am with in calories of course, but thinking two things One. is that I may not eat my work out calories and see what that does

Photobucket(which normally I still don’t eat all my calories anyways) and two I think it’s all about what I am eating and not as much as the calories.  I know my sodium is at a good range.  I also started measuring my body and have found some big fluctuations, like one day one leg was like 3 inches bigger then the other but by morning they were almost the same. I guess it all still adds up to what I believed which is, I am in fact swelling.  If that is the case I am not going to go very far with this weight loss I am afraid to say at least given what has happened in my past experiences (I will most likely just fluctuate with in a 10lb range no more no less).
I really, really thought that maybe I was wrong !  That my problem was after all my diet.  But I am seeing that it’s not a calorie issue, before this crap started eating like I am now I would have lost like 10lbs the first freaking week!  I am working out, drinking water, eating below the amount of calories it takes to maintain and ugh…… But so far in this weight loss it’s just really starting to look like I am very much so right about why I weigh what I do and why I can’t seem to lose the weight no matter what I do!  I am still researching and trying new things to see what might help but this is annoying….

Derrick noticed last night when I was tracking my food into MFP (My fitness Pal) once you complete for the day it gives you an idea on what you will weigh in 5 weeks, it’s week 3 and I am still nowhere near what it says I should weigh given how I have been eating.  Derrick however, has lost quiet a bit since I really started changing our diets the past several months (lost over 35lbs already go derrick) I am so proud of him but I wish it was me too…. I even started adding exercise in my routine daily this week.  He made a comment last night about how it seems it’s going to take forever for me to even reach the first goal at this rate and I feel the same.  He really feels we need a good doctor that listens, he has been with me thinner and now much bigger so he knows this isn’t “normal” for me and yet getting a doctor to see that sometimes isn’t so easy!  I guess if anything it’s just more data to give to the doctors to help convince them what I have thought all a long.  I swear I feel I will never lose 10lbs! ugh.  If I can’t even lose 10lbs how on earth will I lose 150?  It just makes me feel like a big fat failure!