Like all blogs you must have your grand entrance post!  Ya know, the one where you hope will be one of many.  But if you are like me you have probably started a ton of blogs and never finished them.  I cannot promise you this will be any different.  However, I will try my best to do it right this time “girl scouts honor!”.  What? I really was a girl scout!  Really!  Well even though I know these things typically have a “About Me” page which I am sure I will set up too, I figured I would start with the title and what it means and then tell you what I really plan to do with this blog.

I am NOT just a fat girl…. I have been thinking for days about starting a blog, generally this idea came up because I was posting on Facebook pictures of foods that I eat daily aka my Food Porn which  then turned into me posting them on my weight loss group too, and well it started to become a drag to post in both places so I thought I should do a blog and be done with it!  Because, well… I am lazy.  Plus then those who are my FB friends and in my weight loss group don’t see double posts, which I am sure that is quiet annoying…. So just thinking of you guys here! Yeah, that’s it.  It’s all about you! Just kidding we know it’s not!  So back to the title.  I am NOT just a fat girl, the title actually has a few meanings.  The first is the obvious my name is Misty, I am a mom of four, engaged, a sister, a friend and so much more than JUST a fat girl.  I think sometimes when we gain weight it feels at times you become invisible.  You notice that people purposely try not to look at you as if you have some disease or something?  Or that if they look at you they will get “the fat”.  But behind this body is a human, a person, who has feelings and a good heart.  I am not defined just by my outside I have an inside too!  Aside from that I have noticed how quickly people judge you.  Not just people who are skinny and never faced a day of weight problems in their lives (not saying all skinny people don’t face weight issues, calm down just speaking of those who have been skinny their whole lives with out struggling with weight), but not just those people but also professionals.  I try to give people the benefit of the doubt which I know that they haven’t given me!  When doctors see me and I have a complaint the first thing I swear that goes through their minds, well sure You’re Fat!  To them I AM just some fat girl….

First I want to clarify for those who have never being overweight before a few things I would like to point out to you.  Number 1.  Uno! Because I am big it doesn’t mean I eat a ton of food…. I sometimes think people envision me eating a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread, and wash it down with a gallon of milk.  No, I don’t eat thousands upon thousands of calories a day.  Number 2 I don’t just sit around watch tv and eat all day long.   It’s such a misconception that because one is overweight they don’t move…. Just because you have seen people have to use machines to get them out of their houses doesn’t mean that’s the case for all of use who are overweight!  Number 3 I don’t care about myself, quiet the opposite, I DO care about myself, while I do get in my mommy frumpy ways at times I do care how I look.  Have you seen what clothes they have for big women?  Either they are SUPER expensive, are for skinny people (which btw typically doesn’t work well for big people) OR they are big hideous outfits that don’t flatter you at all!  I mean I am not saying there are not nice clothes for bigger people but lets face it I can’t go into a place like Target and just get off the rack that’s for sure!  So I wear what’s comfortable and what I can, do I like it? No!  But what can one do with limited choices?   Number 4 I have NO will power or I am WEAK…. Hmmmmm You push babies out of your who-ha with no drugs and we will see how WEAK you are? or hell for that matter try a c-section! K?

See the thing is I am NOT JUST a fat girl, I am a girl who has a Hypothyroid, who has had a Pulmonary Edema, Pulmonary embolism, Factor V Leiden, a Fatty Liver, and this is just what we have already found!   These things were not caused because I am JUST fat!  No I am the fat girl BECAUSE of these things.  I did not eat my way to this weight in fact the amount of food I typically eat in a day is about what someone half if not more of my size eats to maintain their weight.  My weight is a daily struggle.  Despite my efforts there are days where I gain several pounds in just one day and then days later to lose it again, but that’s all it does is it fluctuates.  I have to see doctor after doctor.  All of whom would first look at me and think this is because of my weight.  When every.single.time. I have proven them wrong.  People just don’t.know. what it’s like to be me!  To be in this body that doesn’t feel like it’s MINE.  I MISS my body….. This isn’t someone who had some kids and it just changed, which I totally understand that loss as well… But this is someone despite my efforts I still lose!  Trying to convince doctors that there is something wrong other than the fact I am “just fat” is not an easy task.  Many doctors look at me as if I have been this way for years, when if they knew me they would know in less than 3 yrs ago I was more than half this size.  I have had doctors let me down, ignore me and almost kill me.  All because they wanted to look at what was the most “obvious” to them.  But even then I will not go down with out a fight.  Just hopefully it won’t end with “even if it kills me”…..

I hope that with this blog not only do I get to post and reflect of my eating habits to constantly improve how I eat, and what I eat.  I want to be accountable, I WANT to be healthy but also for a guide to show that hey just because I am a fat girl on the outside doesn’t mean I AM a fat girl.  It doesn’t define me, it’s not WHO I am!  It doesn’t make me less of a person.  It also doesn’t mean to ignore me, blame me or criticize me about my “choices”.   I hope to be able to educate others about people who are like me!  Not all of us who are overweight CHOOSE to be over weight…. NOT all of us ATE our way here!  Many of us work HARD and DO TRY to have a healthy mind,body and soul just some of us have things that hold our bodies back like me.  I hope to get people to sometimes see that sometimes people can be big and it’s not because they eat McDonald’s everyday or loads of fried foods.  That they don’t ever exercise and they aren’t  just lazy… I hope to show people sometimes your “suggestions” are not suggestions but annoying comments that we have heard a million times.  That sometimes all we need is I am sorry you deal with that.  To show people sometimes your help isn’t help though we know you mean well.  And last but not least that just because someone had something like me doesn’t mean that I am LIKE THEM.  Having things like thyroid issues, clotting disorders, clots all don’t run the same.  Just as one may have one experience someone else may have an experience totally different.  Please don’t label us the same!  What works for one doesn’t always for all!  Just because one has the same disorder doesn’t make them the same!

In this blog you will get to see my meals, struggles and hopefully triumphs of becoming not just a fat girl 🙂 I hope that with in time I will get the answers, and tools to finally be able to live healthy, thinner, for my life time not just moments in time.  I also hope to educate and uplift, that just because you are big you still are a person, and that if you want to change your life only YOU can make that happen….. I am going to find the answers and hopefully you will follow me on that journey.  So thanks for coming and come back soon for my daily eats 🙂